…they’re everywhere and nowhere

They are everywhere. Other people. You don’t know what’s going on in their heads. They’re other people. They could be doing anything right now in the privacy of their own homes, these other people. Whatever you can imagine, or worse. Right now another person is murdering someone, someone just like you. Right now, someone is raping a woman. Right now someone is beating his wife. Right now someone is robbing a house just like yours. One of these other people is looking for someone just like you to take advantage of. And what’s worse – you’re another person too.


These other people can be murderers, paedophiles, rapists, violent criminals as well as a host of other shocking things. Do you know who these other people are? Ten percent of other people are criminals and you are their prospective victim. As another person yourself, you might be a murderer, paedophile, rapist and or violent criminal. You could be one of these other people. How are the other other people to know?


Last year, over a million crimes were committed in the wider city region, crimes as diverse as gang rape, downloading child porn, fratricide, stealing new trainers, petrol bombing a neighbour’s house, stealing cars, stealing copper wiring from building sites, shop lifting, ram raiding, armed robbery, violent assault, postal fraud, attempted murder, serial killing and racist assault – each crime committed by just another person. With so many crimes being committed, so many other people committing crime, what are the police doing about it?


A million crimes means a million criminals walking our city’s streets, or a quarter of a million serial criminals, or a couple of thousand prolific criminals; also, a million victims crying out in pain – a million other people chafing against a million other people. Of that vast hoard of criminality, some few thousand are locked away, but the majority are free, living in a neighbourhood like yours, walking past your house, lurking in your back alley and waiting for you to leave for work, turn off the lights or say good-bye to your husband. How long will it be before they strike?


Assuming that the same people aren’t always the victims of crime, that certain people are no more prone to becoming victims of crime than other people, that the set of criminals and the set of victims are mutually exclusive, that other people will be victims of crime, that crime doesn’t pay, that criminals are people too, that it is only a matter of time, that other people have an existence independent of me, that there are no anomalies in the space-time continuum, that the world is at it seems and not as it doesn’t, that there is no such thing as coincidence, and that the same people, other people, certain people and those people are all to be counted, then there is no knowing how long it will be before those people, certain people, the same people or other people strike.


Jessie, her name has been changed to protect her anonymity, is one such other person, a person other than you, who is more than usually a victim of crime: “I can expect to be robbed or violently assaulted at least twice in any financial year,” Jessie told me. “But that’s just an average. There’s some years where I don’t get violently assaulted at all.”


When asked what a bad year is like Jessie just breaks down in tears.


When asked if she has anything to say to the person who committed these crimes, Jessie replied that she just cannot understand other people. “What can you say to these people?” she said. “What is going through their heads?”


The fundamental problem with other people is just that. There is, in fact, no solid proof that other people experience the world like you, see tables and chairs like you do, smell flowers in the morning like you do, love their mothers like you do, or feel guilt like you do. Other people are, and will remain, a mystery – a dark gap in our understanding of the world around us.


There are thousands of people like Jessie living in our city, people who are nothing like us, but like us, are just waiting for the worst to happen, who know that the worst could only get worse, that the worst is worse than the worst thing they can imagine. One problem is that people have a fundamental, metaphysical, biological, physical, metaphorical inability to imagine the worst. As soon as people begin to imagine how bad things can get they have already fallen short. It could always be worse.


When questioned about “the worst that could happen”, the police are unusually uncommunicative. The official response is that “focusing on the worst possible scenario is both unhelpful and irresponsible.” Whether or not the chief of this city’s police has suffered from the “worst possible scenario” we will never know, as he refused to be interviewed. But it is clear that he has not – it could always have been worse.


Last week, in a suburb to the east of the city, a supposed up and coming suburb, three of these other people were seen lurking in the shadow of a disused mill. When the police were called they told a local resident that unless a crime was committed they would be unable to send a patrol. These three other people are still at large.


The number of cars being stolen on our city’s streets have reached “biblical proportions” according to one social commentator and concerned citizen. Six cars were stolen from the same street in the city centre on one night last week. Across the city, the picture is hardly better, with cars disappearing from outside people’s homes and workplaces, from inside garages and off driveways. There seems to be no depths to which these thieves will not sink in order to steal a car.


The brazen audacity of such thieves reaches new heights every day. And one only has to wonder – what new heights will be scaled today? What’s the worst that we can imagine? And why can we not imagine anything worse? Is our imagination faulty or simply incapable of such flights? How often do we read about unimaginable crimes, unimaginable depths of depravity, and unimaginable consequences, ramifications and implications? What’s the worst you can imagine? Try harder!


 “Shock” and “disbelief” are the most common words used by people who are victims of crime. “Anger” and “”troubled” are the next most common words. Surprise is the order of the day, despite daily news reports detailing the worst that had up until that point not been imagined. So why are we still surprised?


“Nothing would surprise me,” a police spokesman said in reply to a question.


With the police clearly failing to be surprised and also failing to protect us from the violent criminals and gang rapists who are freely walking our streets and hiding in the shrubs at the end of our gardens, what are we to do? Who are we to trust? How are we to know who is an audacious criminal and who is the next victim?


It is clear to this reporter that it cannot be clear. Other people are an enigma wrapped in a puzzle wrapped in another enigma. We cannot be sure. Anything is possible. The worst is yet to come. We can never be certain. No one knows what’s behind the bushes, beneath the thin veneer of reality or around the next corner. Therein lies the problem.


3 thoughts on “sporadic

  1. my name is terry wagar I’m e-mailing you because I’m at a loss as to what i can do about a very dangerous murder conspiracy against me and others, for over 2 and a half years I’ve suffered from this conspiracy, it began { as best as i can tell,} when my wife joan wagar started having a affair with a co-worker named eric carlson, there affair started around April of 2005, i had reason to believe they was trying to kill me back then but i wasnt sure at the time, I’m very very sure now! there is a very interesting fact about eric that joan tried to hide from me and my daughters, he is almost identical in appearance to me! my wife nicknamed him doubleclick, when i learned of my wifes affair i also learned of that nickname and asked joan “why do you call him doubleclick ” she said ” oh thats what everyone calls him at work,” ever since my wife joan insisted her affair was over, it never ended, year and a half all kinds of odd things was happening i started getting very sick from time to time, i suspected she was poisoning me but was not sure at the time, i am now! in early 2006 around Feb or mar i went to the hospital asking to be tested because my wife was talking in her sleep saying she was poisoning me, i went to OHSU and signed in, they informed me that its unlikely that they will find anything but they took my vitals and i waited in the lobby, i waited 4 and a half hours and they never called me back to be checked, and no officers came to question me about my concerns. so i went home, i could tell no one there cared. this is just too long to explain so i will try to get to the point, on march 26th of 2007 at 5;55 am i put a audio recorder in joans purse because i heard my wife whispering to someone in her bedroom, { i slept on the couch, our marriage was falling apart.} i heard what sounded like a guy whispering back, so i put my recorder in her purse expecting to finally catch joan in the act and laid down pretending to still be asleep, ten minutes later my wife left for work, what i caught on there was a lot more than i expected, i caught a murder conspiracy! i didn’t know it right away because the audio i got is like 17 hours long, when i heard on it she was with eric two days later i left her and moved in with my oldest daughter shawna, i spent the next week and a half on and off trying to listen to this audio, it didn’t take long to figure out i was being framed for something by my wife and her lover, and they had help! lots of help, i learned i was under INVESTIGATION BY THE FBI and these INVESTIGATORS were good friends with joan and eric and they all met up at our apartment that morning in joans bedroom, they climbed in through joans window, i learned they were there to frame me as a pedophile, eric was posing for pictures in kayles bedroom,{ our youngest daughter,} while the INVESTIGATOR named ERICA { last name unknown to me.} was taking pictures of him while kayle slept, after words eric climbed out joans window and waited for her in her car, and a john ray climbed in and helped joan put something on our computer and then he left the way he came, joan finished getting ready for work and picked up her purse and left for work, once outside joan was talking to these INVESTIGATORS and discussing what they was going to do next, joan and eric on the ride to work was discussing what they was going to say to other employees when they get there, joan mentioned to eric {you woke her up} referring to kayle, and then they discussed breaking into shawnas apartment with ERICA, after lots of listening to that audio i learned joan eric and erica planed to rape shawna and murder her and then frame me for this! they planed to use a signed check of mine to purchase a gun in my name, remember eric looks almost like me in appearance, eric was going to use my ID and one of my checks to purchase a gun, joan was instructed to collect my sperm, eric was going to rape and murder shawna, erica was going to plant my sperm on shawnas body along with other false evidence, joan and eric met up at walmart along with vickie {joans sister} and the investigators and was waiting at the front door for someone to let them in, other employees showed up and the investigators pretended to have caught me in the act, [ referring to eric in kayles room,} and saying they got me on fotogenic, once inside the investigators proceed to put on a phony show of investigating while in the presence of walmart employees while joan and eric and vickie are trashing my name to there fellow employees turning everyone there against me, joan was even addmeting eric has been impersonating me for other crimes, after hours and hours of the investigators claiming in walmart employees presence that i was doing wrong things and joan and eric telling countless lies about me the investigators gave permission to all of them to pedifie me, joan started printing out flyers about me at walmart,{ unknown to me whether they used them or not.} i learned they had me under a illegal video survealence the hole apartment had hidden cameras and the investigators asked there supervisor to take 6;30 off of joan because john ray broke in there, when i left joan and moved in to my daughters apartment about 3 or 4 days later the FBI took over the apartment above shawna and they proceeded to spread rumors in shawnas neiborhood, and was spying on us as well with hidden cameras, they didn’t know at that time that i knew they were up there, the ceiling in shawnas apartment has no insulation so i could hear them up there talking about editing my audio and discussing ways of killing me, i knew because they are members of authorities i couldn’t get help calling 911, not to mention i was very worried for my family’s safety i was afraid to tell shawna about this at this time for her own safety so i just continued to listen to the audio trying to learn as much about this as i could but for my own safety i pretended to not understand it well, about a week and a half after i left joan on April 7th donna { joans mother who also lives at shawnas apartment complex, } asked shawna if i could go to her apartment to fix her computer she said it wouldn’t work on the Internet, i didn’t want to but shawna insisted so i went over to Donna with shawna and tried to fix her computer, donna offered me a cup of coffee and i accepted, she brought me a cup of coffee and what looked like a mayonaze lid filled with sugar, i put 2 or 3 spoonfuls in my coffee and was sipping while working on her computer, finally i told donna i cant fix it and that maybe she should get a new computer, i drank up my coffee and me and shawna left to go back to shawnas apartment which isn’t far away, by the time i got to the stairs i started not feeling well, once inside i really started feeling very sick and needed to lie down, fifteen minutes later my head felt like there was acid eating away at me from the inside, not thinking clearly i called Joanne asking if she could take me to the hospital, during the drive there joan was looking at her rear view mirror a whole hell of a lot, which gave me the suspicion we were being followed, keep in mind neither joan nor those investigators knew yet that i knew about them, once at the hospital i was so fucked up and hurting in my head that i needed a wheelchair, once i was admitted and taken back to a emergency room i waited and waited and no doctor ever came and examed me, one person came in acting like a doctor but never examed me, he only wanted to put his finger in my ass supposed for a colon test of some sort, but he never asked me what was wrong, never examed my eyes or mouth or ears, never took my vitals, never took a urine sample, i was holding my head in severe pain and all he wanted was to put his finger in my ass, once done he left, a half hour later a male nurse brought me a bottle of something to drink saying i need to drink the whole bottle and then i was going to some room to have a kind of ex ray of some sort, never once did a doctor examine me nor did a doctor come in to explain what was going on, after i drank the bottle the nurse took me to a room for this ex ray then brought me back to my room, about a hour later a doctor came and explained that the only thing they could find wrong was there was a little bleeding in my colon and he recommended i follow up with a colanoscopie, needless to say i was totally shocked at his blatant attempt to ignore the fact that NOBODY EXAMED ME!!! i knew at this time that those investigators had somehow interfered with my medical treatment and done something to prevent a doctor from examine me! i went back to shawnas apartment still in pain in my head, it felt like acid burning in there, and to this day i am still in pain in my head over this, about a week after this i stopped pretending to know nothing about this crap with joan and the investigators and looked up at the ceiling where they were and called them a bunch of criminals and murderers and that i was completely discuss ted with them, shawna was home at this time but didn’t understand why i did that, an hour later shawna left for work and after that all hell broke loose up stairs, a whole lot of people in suits was going up there and there was some yelling and they seemed very angry, a lot of activity going on for the rest of that day in that apartment above shawnas place, at around 8 or 9 that nite several people went up there talking very loudly acting like they were looking at something and said very loudly { yep thats a pedophile alright.} and then him and a few others from that apartment ran out of there yelling at the top of there lungs through out the hole neaborhood calling me a pedophile, from this point on they was pedifieing me openly in shawnas neaborhood, just flat out calling me a pedophile to others in that neaborhood, this hole time i spent most of my time on the floor in pain from donna poisoning me, i flat out knew i could get no help calling 911 since these were people in authority doing this to me, they stopped doing this when shawna was around they didn’t want her to know about it, i told shawna about this but she didn’t believe me because she never witnessed any of it and no one at work mentioned this to her, she believed donna poisoned me but she never understood any of the other stuff, the investigators were quite until shawna left for work and was loud when she left, they would say things like { were going to FUCK you over now you son of a bitch!} i remained in the apartment for about a week after donna poisoned me unable to walk much because of the pain, around this time eric showed up downstairs talking very loudly up at the investigators, { the investigators were on the third floor on the patio and eric was on the ground talking up at them, shawnas app is in between them} and eric was loudly calling me a pedophile and giving my description to others who were out there trying to piss me off, i didn’t go out to confront him because i knew they wanted to shoot me, before he left he yelled up at the investigators telling them to make sure i drink my coffee, keep in mind they weren’t hiding any of there murder attempts from me, after all eric and joan had permission from the authorities to murder me so they just don’t give a shit, i have reason to believe the authorities pressed charges against me and gave my disscription on tv because where ever i go people seem to recognize me, people in shawnas old neaborhood would point over at me and say “there’s the guy they pedified.” ever since i have been under attack behind my back and in front of my face, i learned from that audio that they pedified me in prison so if i get arrested for anything i will likely be murdered in prison, after they poisoned me at some point they broke into shawnas app and replaced my audio with a differant version hoping i would think its the original, i didn’t fall for that,there version is nothing but a death threat against me and shawna and there demonstrating how they plan to frame my hole family and give them the blame for me being poisoned and pedofied, and at the end of it there flat out frameing me as a pedophile using my voice and kayles, although they made the mistake of admitting somewhere in the middle of the audio that there using kayles voice, on there replacement audio they threatened to pedofie shawna if i say something about this, well they already did that, what it amounts to is they tried to kill me and shawna, i caught them in the act , and then they threatened to kill us if i talk about it and then they tried to kill us again, so it does me no good to heed there threats, as far as I’m concerned they murdered me already and there in the process of murdering shawna right now, there have been too many attempts to tell them all on this, let me suffice it to say the other nite joan and a couple of her friends came here to murder me and that plan failed, but there not scared about it because they have some people in authority covering there asses, i write this on November 13th 2007 and at this very moment this apartment is under a illegal video survielence by the FBI, and they allow others over the Internet to spy on us and make fun of us, chances are there going to murder me for sending this because they made it clear there going to cover there asses, but thats why i saved the best for last.
    p.s. the address where this ocured is 8800 se causey loop n-205 clackamas OR 97086, the whole neaberhood there has heard of this and the authorities used a warrant to kick out the tenants above shawnas apartment

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